The worry!

Oh the worry that comes with a baby!

During pregnancy, I had myself convinced that one of the scan photos of Noah showed that he only had one foot. I sobbed all night into Rob’s chest, not allowing him to convince me otherwise, but not seeing through the upset enough that a look at a different photo clearly showed both feet, with little toes.

Shortly before Noah was born, one of the pages I follow on Facebook shared a post of a lady whose son had been diagnosed with a form of dwarfism. She explained one of the signs, and I must’ve squirrelled it in my brain… A few days after Noah was born I couldn’t shake off the idea he’s a midget, too, and he definitely showed this sign. He doesn’t. It’s ridiculous.

I was sure he must be blind… Then I remembered they did the newborn tests and he passed those in the hospital before we were discharged, and one of the tests is that he mimics a facial expression. Can’t do that if you’re blind.

Until the hearing test I was worried Noah was deaf.

Now I worry how he and James will get on, I worry about James cuddling Noah just that bit too much, I worry worry worry.

I worry Noah has to cry that bit too long because I’m in the middle of helping James with something. I worry about the cortisol levels in his brain. I worry about the effect of his crying and worry he thinks no-one will come, like the NSPCC advert.

I worry about his head being off his chest, that I can see him, that he’s not too covered up but not too exposed.

I worry about other things too, like finding time to vacuum, losing weight, fitting into my jeans, all those clothes in the loft I may never wear again… Sigh.

But you know what I don’t worry about? That I love my boys. I was asked if I worried about finding the love for a second child, when I’ve only had one before. No need to worry about that; the heart always finds room for love. It’s been easy to love Noah, and I love James more and more when I see him interacting with his little brother and in his everyday life. I love Rob more, too, as we both get used to having two little ones in the house.

Follow:

5 Comments

  1. December 30, 2014 / 10:58 pm

    Ahhhh and it doesn’t get any easier either! M is now 11 months and if she sleeps too long I worry, if she cries I worry.
    I remember the scans, I was sure there was a hole in her spine during the 12 week scan and so in 20 week was so so worried. The sonographer was surprised how worried I was lol Even after 20 week scan I worried about so many other things.

    • December 30, 2014 / 11:14 pm

      I’m not sure I can see an end to it either! When they’re school-age there’s still more to worry about. Ah, the joys of parenthood!

      • December 30, 2014 / 11:54 pm

        They will be having kids of their own and we will still worry. Who knew?!?!

  2. January 2, 2015 / 2:15 am

    because we’re good Mommas who love our babies….always! I worry too, I guess we all do just to different degrees and about different things. I heard the other day about a 5th grader who died suddenly simply after having a fever. What?! Crazy, right!? Enough to make me wonder and worry about what if that happens to my 3rd grader or my preschooler? As they grow we will continue to worry about different things but you’re right we will always love our babies no matter what and we never have to worry about that. Glad to know I’m not alone!

  3. fotini141
    January 2, 2015 / 2:18 am

    We worry cause we are loving Mommas and want to make sure our children our babies are always safe. I just heard the other day a 5th grader who died suddenly after a fever, what?! crayz, right!? We all worry I guess just to different degrees and about different things. Nice to know we’re not alone in all this worry business!! Thanks for the post!

Leave a Reply